Ranjish hi sahi......

Yes..Those who cant grasp the meaning of Ranjish please google.Faraz's ghazal so superbly renditioned by the great maestro Mehdi Hassan is playing over and over in my head.I guess its time, isnt it?
We have many terms for that "feeling".Joy,ecstasy,happiness?As feelings usually are, we really cant describe them.You know which feeling I am talking about!To put it simply, imagine what you feel when you meet the one long lost!That sudden rush of blood, the elevated heart rate and a spring in your step.I really cant remember the last time I felt like that.
I guess its my silent grief talking.The time is coming.The final countdown.Life as it was will never..oops I never say never!:D,well it wont be whole again.Those final blips on the radar that I call my heart, are well, weakening.They are going to disappear altogether.Hence Ranjish hi sahi...
Why the Ranjish?Am I jealous?Those who know better take that very thing for granted when it comes to the lives of those they love and have the right to interfere in.For the greater good?Ravings of a drunken man?Will come to his senses?What sense?When its the very essence that will go away.
And What do I carry with me?incomplete memories?torture of a lifetime?always wondering of what could have been?Cannot underestimate the power of memories..Complete memories.THey are joyful partners for a lifetime.What do I hold? A speck of sand in an icy desert?Bloody useless! Yet its them, yes those who are blissfully unaware of what could have been who perpetrate this..this Ranjish!
This Ranjish is needed..The unknown beckons.A time when the unknown held promise but back then, there were no blips, the range was being expanded.Now its only fear..
ab tak dil-e-Khush-feh’m ko tujh se haiN ummiideN
ye aaKhrii shammeN bhii bujhaane ke liye aa

I guess its time to dispel the light...Its time to welcome the darkness...